SI is getting bad again as mothers day rolls around. I’ve now stopped making plans past late June or July as for now I hope to be gone

Back to 1 shower a month it seems.

I’m only human till I break.

Miss my mom, house is empty, heart is cold. I’m so ready to cease

I see the light of the train.. the tunnel is to close to squeeze by.

The year many forgot. It hurts to be forgotten.

Nowhere to go. Nothing to do. Nobody who cares.
Everyone has family or personal time. I guess I’m left alone.

Abby is 15 now.. she doesn’t need me. Nobody needs me.

The feeling I want to just die is back and growing in internal popularity. Maybe it’s the holidays, maybe it’s Cassie drifting away and being so alone. Just me and my mice. I hope some day I don’t wake up. I hope if I pull the trigger my finger doesn’t slip.

I’m broke, missing payments and in between checks. Maybe it’s time to go.