Mentally

Im not doing well. Im so far behind im getting overwhelmed. I can’t catch up and I’m failing everyone because I just can’t do anything but sleep and work. Work is a giant blur. Come home and get out of breath from feeding cats. My house is overgrown even tho I have the poison and a brand new spraying jug. My air conditioner isn’t working because I can’t time when the guy can come fix it. It’s not a money thing. Ive had a big dumpster for $5 a day in my driveway over a year and it’s not being used. Ive not had an oil change in almost 15 months. I’ve not washed my car in a year. The pile of discarded food bags almost fills an entire bedroom and a blocks off a section of the house even tho I have 3,000 large contractor bags in the Amazon box. I have so many boxes I forget what is what. I have a cat I really love that may be pregnant and I want to spay her and maybe take in but the house is a wreck and I can’t spay her.
Like I said I’m broken, I’m failing, I’m lost. Im thinking that given RFK wants to put me somewhere it might as well put me on a grave.