From 911 call to the Calvary getting here was 10min from when I dialed 911 to firefighters kicking me to the driveway. They did check on me as I was a bit smokey. I cant say this enough. Get a fire extinguisher. My $20 investment 5 years or so ago saved my ass. No smoke damage, no water damage, and limited cosmetic damage. They did however shred several trash bags of shit so my area looks like a bomb went off.
They were gone in 45min packing up their hoses and certifying my hot water tank had seen its last day.

Then I thought about getting a vape pen. A hot water tank went poof..
<drive.google.com/file/d/1Bm1ztqPX2jugrKHmH_m1ExrSLD6Aoyrw/view?usp=drivesdk> 1000085805.jpg <drive.google.com/file/d/1Bm1ztqPX2jugrKHmH_m1ExrSLD6Aoyrw/view?usp=drivesdk>

Today I took a massive (in girth) shit and OMG I swear it got me high afterwards. Not as in oder but released some chemistry in body. Anyway if this is the worst im posting than ok?
I’ll not bore you with me collapsing twice last weekend and the massive bruises I’ve gotten. I’m not sure if I’m OK but I got to watch abby cap off her senior swm years with state runners up for girls and 7th in 100m breaststroke in the state.

Who said no news is good news? This weekend I’m in Harrah watching and rooting for Abby closing her senior year with 3 events shes made it thru them all. Tomorrow hopefully have some more bling.
Lexapro is tapering but still there. I have 1 molar left until I hit a red line.
Here’s some qualifications rounds today.
Oh yea.. I collapsed today and thankfully 2 guys help me not break my neck.

Bad and good.
Lexapro has helped my mood and maybe pushing some depression to the side. Bad is I’m now super impatient and borderline volatile when mad or pushed.
My teeth are again fucking up. I’ve said a red line in the sand is when I cant chew. Regardless of mood tooth and chewing are enough to end it.
Thought I’d try something cute since I don’t do Facebook anymore.

Started an old school anti depressive and notice a little bit. Also who told one of my senior cats that rescuing 2 kittens isn’t on my list.
Here’s a clip of them. I want to send them to the shelter but I’m afraid Gizmo is attached.

When it ends are we free from the struggles that bind us and weigh us down or does this mean we’re forever tormented to clean up our mess?
If you end it, does it really end?

Day by day.. not sure if the end in sight or a trap door. I have sever things that if met would trigger a fatal task.
Until recently I’ve not thought about a means. While I’d love to document my options I must remember that by reaching a preplanned options is an advanced but not firm as I’ve not settled on one.