With RFK threatening to take away stimulants, benzos, SSRI’s. I would rather be dead than be put in some camp. I’m losing grasp on hope. Only hope I’m finding is that something kills me before I kill myself.

Maybe the killing of UHC was just a start. I want the CEO to think about them vying over and over, day by day. We should go after their children and spouses. Make them relive the loss and hurt every day they work. Maybe then they will learn. They don’t care about your children. Now they can worry about theirs.

Today my body has been acting weird. Since 5pm and eating my stomach has acted like it’s hungry. I’ve fed it twice and still hurts. I have a tooth that’s also hurting and my body decided to purge all the waste today. Now I sit at 1230a and chest is tight with some discomfort. Ugh.

I’m paralyzed, I can barely function. I’m lucky to get up to pee. I’ve not showered in a week. Nobody has noticed I fell of the digital globe. I’m afraid to ask for help as I don’t want to burden anyone. I have no A/C and it’s averaging 95 degrees inside. I lay under a fan in a pool of sweat. I can’t wear clothing because I soak them and I can’t reward them because the salt has dried and shirts and boxers are crystallized from sweat. I have to work tomorrow. My sleep schedule is non existent. I have a reason to check out and it spooks me I’m looking at my options. Next logical step is to plan my exit. That step I’ve not stepped on yet. Still wishing someone would notice I’m gone.

Not in a good place. Starting to get scared.

I’m alone. Slept for 20hrs yesterday.

Dunno why but super depressed and not even pat wants to hang.

I really only wanted one thing this year..
I had to settle for 20 McNuggets and a bottle of water.

I don’t see this going well. Not even Christmas and I am already ready to die.

2 bottles of 500mg Tylenol. Take over 24hrs will shut down my liver and kidneys. No turning back once started.
Now an event to trigger it.