Changing cellphone carriers.. and such so be ready for distractions. Plus found a pretty easy mustard gas recipe.

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I think Reds back with her man. Only texts I get are good morning. I think her mom might be bad but she’s on FB all day long. Mom’s bday is 10 days away. Time to get a plan.

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Red’s got it rough with her mom looking at hospice and I know that feeling where you’re going to lose the once you love. She lost her dad unexpectedly and I can feel that pain still in her. I’m having trouble sleeping and Abby and family are on a long road trip so they won’t […]

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I’m awake but my mind is quiet.. like talking to myself monolog. Didn’t take ambien.

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Today it hit 102 and home AC barely even kept up. As I layed out naked under the fans sweating I noticed my most tender zones was sore and feels like I have a few bumps or lumps I might need a doctor to check out. Hate to lose a testicle over ignoring them.

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Mental healthy is sinking quick. Thinking tonight how Joy got off the train so I’d not be alone wherever I ended up.

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It’s weird how my anxiety has me so hyped up. Trying not to smother red but trying to think about life without that force is not sustainable.

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Perfect Memorials Custom Engraved Ebony Glaze Cremation Urn https://a.co/d/4pmdPyR

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Trying so hard to give red room. She needs it and is on her own emotional ride. How can I want her so bad but fear she won’t want me and this extra time is a waste of time? She won’t even meet me for lunch or answer my phone calls. Work is crushing my […]

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I don’t matter is all I hear or see.

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