So as many of you might have noticed I had a time away from blogging because well it’s kind of hard to blog about life and such when one of the key actors in my story is a secret. Yes thats right a secret has kept me from posting because it’s been in the fabric of my life and everyday life until last night when such secret crossed many lines and ended up in the /dev/null category.
Rule #1 is also covered in the bible about coveting others etc. In my book it reads “Do not flirt or make any action to a married woman that could be taken as romantic” This means I can flirt all I want as long as they and their partners are aware of my intentions or lack there of.
The #1 rule I’ve always held close is that I will never do to a guy what has been done to me previously. Somewhere in the early stages of January I broke that rule and continued to suppress it until last night.
Timing is about everything and this situation had the worst because no-one wins. If this was to be tried when rule #1 wasn’t being broken then I think a happy and very satisfactory outcome would be great. I leave that option open for the future but I’m not crossing my fingers. I’ve delt with mind games from partners enough to know how to play them reverse them and be abused by them. All in all I don’t like them. Friday night was a bad night. We have just finished sweeps, I had seen MID3 with friends from church and came home to nap till 10pm. A very interesting exchange of texts were had and I figured out that I was being interrogated i.e. mind game. When I asked why etc. She claimed she was “just fishing” and was looking to see where we stood. I made a post of Twitter about this however NEVER mentioned, conveyed, pointed to this person as the subject. After the post on Twitter I received multiple txt messages that were not things you say to someone you care about but less a stranger. I went to bed turning the phone off at 1:20a.
Happy Today!
This morning I prayed about things and I wanted to talk to Cass about my choices but she’s on wedding on some island. I looked at what we had, we had coming and what was on down the road. Every scenario I ran had this “The relationship would have to remain a secret for no less than 8 months and then I would not be able to relay information I have gained and would have gained at the end of the tunnel. Now I have to say the person I could see myself happily with and the additions in the future but not without a ton of deceit. Sometime this morning I sent her a txt saying to please un-follow me on twitter, delete me from her phone and un-friend me on facebook. I in turn backed up all my TXT’s and FB stuff then deleted it off my phone and other media. I hate to do via txt but I had no other options without causing harm. The sting enough was harsh.
So After a few hours I checked and I was no longer friends with her and I don’t know if she un-followed me or not. I wish her the best.
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Added so I’ve been asked by 2 people so I’ll add it here. Yes she claimed to “love” me however I was/am unable to say I clearly had the same feeling and that did factor into my decision.
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